i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
