So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
