I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
this just has baby written all over it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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