tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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