I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
