It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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