I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
