I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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