the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
