Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
