So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
