you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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