They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
