My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
