Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
