Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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