I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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