Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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