i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
