Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
