Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
