Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
