Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
