Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The Olympian is in my bed
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
