Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
