My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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