Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
PANTIES FOUND
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