he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
