No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
