Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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