I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
