Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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