i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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