Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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