Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just had sex on a roof
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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