lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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