My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
