Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
