You work out of a Hotel?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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