Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
