sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
