3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Randomize
