the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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