She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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