wanna go halves on a baby?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
nutella sex= disaster
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
