she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
