Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
