I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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