We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
