Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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