So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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